I’ve gotten a lot of questions lately about how I do all I do, and how do I keep such a positive attitude and get through the tough days. Well, for one I will say that as a mother I am able to do all I do because, well I have to. I am driven to do my best for my children. I have read many blogs from mom’s that have kids that have different, or “special”, needs. (I along with most moms in that situation hate to say “special” needs because all children have special needs, as all children are different. So a child with extra needs just needs different things) Anyway, most of them will tell you that it is hard, but if you were in their situation you would be able to do it too because, well you have to, you love your children and want the best for them.
Now, my children don’t have many different needs or attention, aside from my son. He was born with club food, and so from his third day of life he wore a cast for 3 months. We had to travel from Charleston, WV to Lexington, KY every week for the cast to be changed. This was followed by a surgery, and then special shoes he wore for 23 hours a day for two months, then all sleeping moments for almost 3 years. We are done with the “hard” part, or time consuming really. Aside from the mother’s fear when it was time for the surgery, the rest was made very easy by the loving doctors and nurses at Shriners Hospital for Children in Lexington. At this point we visit Lexington about every 6 months for a check up. So see, its not really that hard. I count that as a blessing because though we had to deal with a hardship, it could have been so much harder. And we were blessed to be referred to Shriners 🙂 I have a special place in my hear for the Mason’s and their subsidiaries,
Let me explain why they have a place in my heart. Another thing my son needs help with is speech therapy. We went through a program in our area called “birth to 3” they help children between those ages with many developmental delays. We worked with them for a couple months, because we didn’t realize he was behind in speech. When he got to age 3 his therapist said she was sorry, she could no longer work with us, but referred us to the Childhood Language Center in our area. This organization is ran by the Scottish Rite, another branch of the Mason’s. My son still receives therapy from them as well. Once a week he goes to his therapist, who we all love, and “plays” as he works on his speech.
Both these organizations are non profits and we have been so blessed to get the special treatments my son needed for no money out of our pocket. Another blessing, count it 🙂
Ok, so none of that sounds like much, but there’s quite a bit more. See, I have albinism, I was my mother’s special needs child. Due to my albinism I am legally blind. This has brought up many obstacles and then blessings in return. I can’t drive, so getting myself to a job, and the kids around was something I was so so scared about. Getting a job was scary, finding a place to live with minimal money was scary. But all of these things have been answered for us.
See, we have an apartment that I applied for where my rent is based on my income. It was nearing the end of January, I had waited and waited, and applied and applied for jobs. Finally, the same day in January I heard that an apartment had opened up for me, and I got a call about a job. Count it, another blessing 🙂
[update: I am not currently working, I am however looking for new employment, I am stressed due to the fact I am not bringing in money, but we have to keep moving forward]
I am lucky to live in a city with public transportation, so I have been able to get the kids and myself where we need to go with the aid of buses and cabs. And whether it be my good sense with money or another blessing from God, but even when times are really rough and I only have something like $70 in my bank account there is always enough money there for the things we REALLY need. And, if the money isn’t there, I am lucky enough to have friends and family that help if they can, which I am very thankful and blessed for.
So, basically what it comes down to is I count my blessings almost daily. Living this life, alone, low income, two young rambunctious children, non driver, etc is hard. Its really hard sometimes guys, sometimes I get stressed, sad, lonely, and even depressed. I hate to admit it, but I even break down and feel like its too much and cry. Those are the days in particular that I have to remind myself to look at the things I DO have, rather than what I don’t. And remind myself to forgive myself if I can’t get it ALL done EVERY day.
So, when I notice I am starting to feel this way I think about all the things God has given us. I’ve always been told He wouldn’t give me more than I can handle, and though occasionally I feel he trusts me a bit too much, I think back on the times it was really hard and scary. Then I see the places God blessed me and gave to me to help us get through. So that’s my “secret” its not much of a secret though. That is why it is so very important to count your blessings in life. In the darkest, scariest, worst times of your life try and think, even if you can only find one good thing that has happened for you, focus on that. If you don’t believe in God, okay, then just see it as a positive if that’s the only way you can accept it. In all the negatives I bet you can find at least one positive.
One thing I often go back to is my children. In all the bad that comes and goes in my life, if things hadn’t gone the way they did for me, I wouldn’t have the special kids beside me.
So, all who ask how I do it. I do it because I have to, and I count my blessings to get through the hardest times. And THAT is how I stay positive and come out with a smile, because I know, things will be okay, even if it takes time, things will be okay. Another truth is, sometimes the smile you see is hiding something deeper, but I stay strong for the kids and smile as often as I can.
Count your blessing guys, trust me, take a minute just to think about how things turn out in your life, it might just change your perspective. Also, consider that as bad as you have it, there is quite possibly some one out there with it much much worse. And at least you weren’t chosen to face those hardships.
Love and prayers