I’ve gotten a lot of questions lately about how I do all I do, and how do I keep such a positive attitude and get through the tough days. Well, for one I will say that as a mother I am able to do all I do because, well I have to. I am driven to do my best for my children. I have read many blogs from mom’s that have kids that have different, or “special”, needs. (I along with most moms in that situation hate to say “special” needs because all children have special needs, as all children are different. So a child with extra needs just needs different things) Anyway, most of them will tell you that it is hard, but if you were in their situation you would be able to do it too because, well you have to, you love your children and want the best for them.
Now, my children don’t have many different needs or attention, aside from my son. He was born with club food, and so from his third day of life he wore a cast for 3 months. We had to travel from Charleston, WV to Lexington, KY every week for the cast to be changed. This was followed by a surgery, and then special shoes he wore for 23 hours a day for two months, then all sleeping moments for almost 3 years. We are done with the “hard” part, or time consuming really. Aside from the mother’s fear when it was time for the surgery, the rest was made very easy by the loving doctors and nurses at Shriners Hospital for Children in Lexington. At this point we visit Lexington about every 6 months for a check up. So see, its not really that hard. I count that as a blessing because though we had to deal with a hardship, it could have been so much harder. And we were blessed to be referred to Shriners 🙂 I have a special place in my hear for the Mason’s and their subsidiaries,
Let me explain why they have a place in my heart. Another thing my son needs help with is speech therapy. We went through a program in our area called “birth to 3” they help children between those ages with many developmental delays. We worked with them for a couple months, because we didn’t realize he was behind in speech. When he got to age 3 his therapist said she was sorry, she could no longer work with us, but referred us to the Childhood Language Center in our area. This organization is ran by the Scottish Rite, another branch of the Mason’s. My son still receives therapy from them as well. Once a week he goes to his therapist, who we all love, and “plays” as he works on his speech.
Both these organizations are non profits and we have been so blessed to get the special treatments my son needed for no money out of our pocket. Another blessing, count it 🙂
Ok, so none of that sounds like much, but there’s quite a bit more. See, I have albinism, I was my mother’s special needs child. Due to my albinism I am legally blind. This has brought up many obstacles and then blessings in return. I can’t drive, so getting myself to a job, and the kids around was something I was so so scared about. Getting a job was scary, finding a place to live with minimal money was scary. But all of these things have been answered for us.
See, we have an apartment that I applied for where my rent is based on my income. It was nearing the end of January, I had waited and waited, and applied and applied for jobs. Finally, the same day in January I heard that an apartment had opened up for me, and I got a call about a job. Count it, another blessing 🙂
[update: I am not currently working, I am however looking for new employment, I am stressed due to the fact I am not bringing in money, but we have to keep moving forward]
I am lucky to live in a city with public transportation, so I have been able to get the kids and myself where we need to go with the aid of buses and cabs. And whether it be my good sense with money or another blessing from God, but even when times are really rough and I only have something like $70 in my bank account there is always enough money there for the things we REALLY need. And, if the money isn’t there, I am lucky enough to have friends and family that help if they can, which I am very thankful and blessed for.
So, basically what it comes down to is I count my blessings almost daily. Living this life, alone, low income, two young rambunctious children, non driver, etc is hard. Its really hard sometimes guys, sometimes I get stressed, sad, lonely, and even depressed. I hate to admit it, but I even break down and feel like its too much and cry. Those are the days in particular that I have to remind myself to look at the things I DO have, rather than what I don’t. And remind myself to forgive myself if I can’t get it ALL done EVERY day.
So, when I notice I am starting to feel this way I think about all the things God has given us. I’ve always been told He wouldn’t give me more than I can handle, and though occasionally I feel he trusts me a bit too much, I think back on the times it was really hard and scary. Then I see the places God blessed me and gave to me to help us get through. So that’s my “secret” its not much of a secret though. That is why it is so very important to count your blessings in life. In the darkest, scariest, worst times of your life try and think, even if you can only find one good thing that has happened for you, focus on that. If you don’t believe in God, okay, then just see it as a positive if that’s the only way you can accept it. In all the negatives I bet you can find at least one positive.
One thing I often go back to is my children. In all the bad that comes and goes in my life, if things hadn’t gone the way they did for me, I wouldn’t have the special kids beside me.
So, all who ask how I do it. I do it because I have to, and I count my blessings to get through the hardest times. And THAT is how I stay positive and come out with a smile, because I know, things will be okay, even if it takes time, things will be okay. Another truth is, sometimes the smile you see is hiding something deeper, but I stay strong for the kids and smile as often as I can.
Count your blessing guys, trust me, take a minute just to think about how things turn out in your life, it might just change your perspective. Also, consider that as bad as you have it, there is quite possibly some one out there with it much much worse. And at least you weren’t chosen to face those hardships.
Love and prayers
Oh my goodness you guys, this is fantastic, perfect in fact. The explanation here of being a stay at home mother as compared to Stockholm syndrome is masterful.
I found this particular link from my favorite blog mom Beth Wooly, mom and author of Five kids is a lot of Kids.
Visit Beth’s site for some amazing writing, heart felt stories, and mega huge laughs.
This video is from Ann Imig of Ann’s Rants Enjoy, I certainly did!
Love and prayers
PS I meant it, visit Beth’s site! 😉 She was my inspiration to begin my blog, I wanted to for a long time, but until I saw that writing the way I would talk worked, well I was too scared to get out there. So, if you are reading my page, you absolutely need to see hers!!!
Okay, so yes I am a single mom, and yes, I am alone much of the time; I’m alone except for my kids’ company EVERYWHERE I go. On that note, this blog is geared toward mothers in general, single, married, moms of youngins, moms who’s babies have left the nest to fly on their own.
So, as a mom I already knew that the kids were going to follow me like ducks in a row wherever I went, but after becoming a single parent it got worse, can you believe it?
Bathroom time is now a team sport, it seems everyone has to go at the same time, so its some sort of twisted relay race to make sure everyone makes it to the designated place to relieve themselves instead of anywhere else, because hey, have you ever had to ask your kid “why is there poop in your drawer?” this was a recent question of mine 😉
We can’t blame them if you think about it though, going with us to the rest room, and talking openly with no bashfulness at all. I mean come on, from the day they were born their first bodily excretion, be it drool, from the bowel, or the bladder, has been talked about and adored for years. Then when potty training begins, we talk about it more in depth. So of course they would want to make sure mommy (or daddy) is using the potty right, and “wow mom you peed A LOT) and such 🙂
Oh yeah, I’m one of those people too, if you are squeamish or don’t like talking about bodily fluids openly, some of my posts may not be right for you. Don’t worry, its not ALL I talk about, promise 🙂
Another thing, I NEVER let my kids sleep in the bed with me. To those of you that have or do, more power to you, it just wasn’t the route I wanted to go. But after the divorce, suddenly, out of no where my 4 year old would wake in the middle of the night and climb into my bed. Then his sister started doing it too. I tried to nip it in the bud, with no avail of course. Most times I don’t even know he’s come in the bed till there’s a foot on my face, or arm across my neck.
Which brings me to a mommy math moment. A full sized bed, which is what I have, can comfortably sleep 2 full sized adults. For some reason though, it cannot comfortably sleep 1 full sized adult and 2 1/2 sized beings in the form of a 4 year old boy and a 3 year old girl. Who knew? the math seems like it would work either way, but nope, trust me friends, it does not in fact work that way.
Finally, laying in bed last night exploring the randomness of my mind, as I could not sleep, I was thinking about the body fluid thing again. I go there a lot sorry. And I decided that if at this age of kids, you as a parent haven’t been drooled, puked, peed, or pooped on, oh and used as a snot rag, one of these things at least, you aren’t doing it right. If you have gotten away with no bodily fluids on you I need your secret, because it seems to go along with the job.
How do these things work in your house? Do you co sleep, have you figured out bathroom time alone, and do you have any funny body fluid stories? I happen to have many!! I will save them for another time 🙂
love and prayers
So my son started head start last week. He is 4, and has been home with mommy pretty much since day 1 of his life, well before that in my womb of course, but I stayed home most of his life up until now.
As you can imagine, him being my first born, my baby; even though he insists I call him a “big boy” I slip sometimes and call him my baby, letting him go to school alone was a toughie on me.
He rode the bus all by him self, like a big boy 🙂 He climbed right up the steps and into his seat and didn’t look back. Can you believe that y’all, he didn’t even look back, he didn’t even pretend like it was rough on him. So then mommy felt like a big baby. To make it worse, his sister was right behind him. I had to restrain her or she was gonna leave me for school too. What is this craziness? I grabbed her up and turned around and began walking back to the house. Holding on to her for dear life telling her she still had at least another year before she started school, and she was spending it with mommy. I told her!
After turning around to go home I called my mom, I had been so great, so strong. My son had no idea I was so scared inside for him to be growing up and go out in the world with out me at the ripe old age of 4. So on the phone with my mom I began to tear up, not sob, snot running down the face, but I did cry.
I was, and am, happy to have the one on one time with my little girl because she hasn’t had that time like big brother did, and I am feeling much better about it now. But in those first few minutes after he climbed on that bus and rode off I was scared, and sad that my little baby had grown up and somehow I think I must have missed some of it. I don’t know where 4 years went. I have tons of memories, but it just went by too darn fast.
How have you all handled your little ones going back to school or starting school this year? Any ideas for a mom with a kid just starting, because my son does have some reservations? Share the love, folks.
Love and prayers,
Hello everyone, my name is Heather. I am a single mom of my 2 wonderful children. My son is 4 and my daughter is nearly 3 🙂 I live in a suburban area of Charleston, WV. The 3 of us live alone in our lovely apartment, its nothing much but anything is lovely when filled with love :).
I’ve mulled over beginning a blog for over a year now, a year, can you believe that? Talk about procrastination guys haha, I am the queen of procrastination. So, anyway, my kid’s father and I split up just over a year ago, our divorce has only been since April, 2012. We had been married 7 years. Once again, can you believe that? Whew, long time, but I try not to be bitter because, it was a mixture of good and bad.
You know what I mean, like without him I wouldn’t have my two kids, or have learned things I learned. I mean, it totally sucks that I lost that time with the wrong person, but I try to find the silver lining. [yeah I’m one of those people lol, I try to be optimistic, but stay with me, you’ll see the dark and twisty complainer in me too, promise]
Oh, no worries that was just one of my random rants where my head lost where I was going with a topic. It happens 🙂 So, my point was, since I currently have to physically raise my children alone, and be alone most of the time; I’d like you to join me on this adventure of starting over in life. So come with me on my roller coaster. We can laugh and cry together. Maybe I can give you some tips and maybe you can give me some too 🙂
This should be lots of fun, thanks guys.